September 1, 2008
When I was interviewing older adult (fifty years plus) couples for my book September Songs, I never asked them about their sexual lives directly. The question I asked was "What do you think are the major sexual issues that emerge at this time of life?" The partners' responses were always specific to themselves and never came in the form of generalities. The mates simply launched into an open discussion of their own sexual relationships and the ways in which their sex lives had improved, stayed the same, diminished or ended completely. We talked about very personal matters, such as managing menopausal changes in the female partner and erectile and orgasmic changes in the male.
As these interviews progressed, I was gathering valuable information about sex in the older adult years. For example, couples like the Donaldsons and the Winstons whose sexual activities had slowed down, might have been concerned about this slowdown but were nevertheless basking in contented, close, deeply satisfying relationships. On the other hand the completely asexual Hamiltons, who were clearly devoted to one-another, taught me that a lack of genital sexual relationships in the marriages of people in their later years is not necessarily a tragic outcome. Actually, as reported recently in the New England Journal of Medicine, the results of a large scale study indicated that over one quarter of couples in their age-group (the early sixties) have not had intercourse within the previous year. Still, there were many other couples who reported that their sex life was the same, or in some cases, even better.(See the article cited above). I was deeply moved by the Sternbergs' description of the intimate sexual relationship that these mates continued to enjoy in the wake of Nancy's traumatic breast cancer operation.
All in all, though sex is a perennially interesting topic, I found myself unable to make a defining statement about sexuality in older adulthood - aside from the observation that it didn't appear to be as crucial as was real affection between the members of the pair.
Yeah - a very very well deserved excellent review in the NYT Sunday book section. I hope the author thinks so too. I could not have said it better myself - no really I could not!
"She’s a gifted and discreet interviewer" "Scarf’s crisp commentary or the interviews themselves (in which the participants come to palpable life)"
This looks like a "must give" book for the about to be married, the already married but looking to get out, the older married who know what it's all about.
Who would have thought that staying together beats the alternative (in most cases). Mazel Tov Maggie
Thanks for the very nice comment. It really was a nifty review, wasn't it?
alameda homes
absolutely agree with the authour, in fact, science is organized knowledge and wisdom is organized life
nokiawad9981
Hello!
Very Interesting post! Thank you for such interesting resource!
PS: Sorry for my bad english, I'v just started to learn this language ;)
See you!
Your, Raiul Baztepo
Wicked! Just got a new BB Pearl and I can read your blog on my phone's browser, it didn't work on my old one.
This is an incredible post, I loved the information. Thank You!
I have to admit I don't always agree with you, but in this case you really hit the nail on the head. Long time reader, first time commenter.
This blog is really helpful for someone who has been having difficulties with this situation. I have looked at a number of resources to no avail. I will continue readingg and learning here in the hope of ultimately getting past this hindrance.
Great information in your posting, I saw a report on tv last week about this same thing and since I am getting married in two weeks and the timing couldn't have been better! thanks for the post!
Giving flowers is hardly a novel valentine tradition. Flowers have been used as a medium for expressing love since the late 1600s.
Good points…I would note that as someone who really doesn’t write on blogs much (in fact, this may be my first post), I don’t think the term “lurker” is very flattering to a non-posting reader. It’s not your fault in the least , but perhaps the blogosphere could come up with a better, non-creepy name for the 90% of us that enjoy just reading the content .
Well, I don’t know if that’s going to work for me, but definitely worked for you! :) Excellent post!
Well not quite what I was searching for nevertheless it was some good reading anyway, guess its a ok that I wasn't able to search properly or I wouldn't have found this.
The last time I checked, there was a lot of talk about this. Have you checked out youtube for the latest?
I will try to check this out. I am a technophobe. How do you do it?
When you open net, you are bombarded with millions of article. However, unfortunately most of them are just a piece of junk. It is difficult to even read first paragraph of such articles. However, this article is not like them. It contains quality content, which can bind you to finish till the last words.
I couldent agree more with the author on this one evem tho there are a few points I have diffrent outlooks on.
Now this is more along the lines, I was browsing another website and it totaly had miss information.
Wow, what a blog! I mean, you just have so much guts to go ahead and tell it like it is.
Wow, what a blog! I mean, you just have so much guts to go ahead and tell it like it is.
Couldnt be written any better. Reading this column reminds me of my old room mate! He always kept conversationregarding this. I'll forward this informative objectto him. Pretty sure he will have an excellent read. Gratitude 4 sharing!
I like your blog, Its nice to see not every body is just posting a mess of nonsense these days!
This entry was a good read! I couldn't have explained the topic better myself.
Great tips to follow. Being professional and showing them there's more to come I think are the most important. You need to give them a great article, that makes them want to come back. And then make sure you don't disappoint.
There have been so many responses to this particular entry. I think that older adults are crying for info on sex in the later years.
I will keep people posted as more studies emerge
Maggie
I recollect an old saying of my mother's. She said "Get yourself a great set of shoes and a great bed. You're always in one or the other."
Fantastic post thankyou. Look at all of these comments!
This article is just what i need, thank you.
Hey, nice website! I have seen it on Bing a day ago! I am very sure that I will come back in a few days to look for more new articles here.
I would love to see more entries here because i find it really interesting.
Read you soon! bye.
Thanks for contributing so much with this good content.
I want to keep up with your blog but don't really know about this RSS thing. Do you know how I can subscribe to it? I really love what you are saying here.
Coole webseite. Cool!
i really like your blog do u write your own posts or you outsource the work to someone else. because i have a couple of blogs and i have a really hard time updating all of them.
Thanks
I came across your site while searching for more information about some symptoms my son is having. The article pointed me in the right direction and I feel a little bit less stressed after reading. Keep up the good work. I'm going to bookmark the site and look forward to reading more articles.
Fantastic post. I previousally to spend alot of my time sailing and being involved in sports. It was probably the most memorable sequence of my life and your info kind of brought back me of that time. Cheers
Definitely a great write-up regarding the topic, keep up the great work and therefore I wish to learn even more from you in the future.
It's stunning! It is said that a thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but also the parent of all other virtues. Knowing you has made me a better person. Thank You.
Hi All, i would just like to make an say hi to everyone at blog.maggiescarf.com
That is what we call a superb forum, I barely care to read out an entire list of threads but this forum got my attention and trust me, That’s unusual.
I was looking for some info and was searching on Google.co.uk for it. I visited each of the top ten pages that came up but didn’t get any relevant result... I then luckily found your diamond message board in the dirt and thought to check it out. This is what I wanted!
Thanks people at blog.maggiescarf.com and keep your fantastic effort up.
Useful Links:
Muscletech Nitro-Tech Pro-Series - 1.8Kg Granovita Organic Pumpkin Oil Biocare Saw Palmetto Guggul Complex Lepicol 100% Whey Gold Biocare Nutrisorb Chromium Polynicotin Noni Juice for Men
I ran across search engines and find this blog that fulfill my needs. There is a thing I do not agree but It doesn't matter since I think it does not hurt the whole content.
you know. I still have yet to understand these types of posts. I have been looking all over the web for this kind of info but thank fully I found your site. Thanks for clearing some things up for me.
FANTASTIC! This is such a superthread and very well written. This is info I have been searching for. This will really help us to better manage our business. I also read many of your other threads and found many that were informative. I will recommend to my coworkers to read your blog. Thanks for your efforts. Our industry is very difficult these days and any assistance we can get is greatly appreciated. If there is anything I can help with you, please feel free to write me.
Haha, for some reason I found parts of this post funny. Not in a bad way! Anyway, keep up the good work! Are you going to be updating this a bit more regularly tho?
Can I make a word of advice? I do think youve had something good here. Yet let's suppose you also included a couple of links towards a website which supports what you're? Or simply you may offer us some extra information to look at, whatever would connect just what youre mentioning, something more tangible?
Interesting article and one which should be more widely known about in my view. Your level of detail is good and the clarity of writing is excellent. I have bookmarked it for you so that others will be able to see what you have to say.
I’d be inclined to engage with you one this subject. Which is not something I typically do! I love reading a post that will make people think. Also, thanks for allowing me to speak my mind!
Hi I found your site by mistake when i was searching yahoo for this acne issue, I must say your site is really helpful I also love the design, its amazing!. I don’t have the time at the moment to fully read your site but I have bookmarked it and also add your RSS feeds. I will be back in a day or two. thanks for a great site.
A strong intriguing posting which does make you consider about the larger picture here. I agree with the earlier mentioned comment and despite the fact that I would consider myself somewhat much less leading-edge in terms of knowledge on the subject he obviously appreciates what he is speaking about as do you.
Do you people have a facebook fan page? I looked for one on twitter but could not discover one, I would really like to become a fan!
Marvelous posting bro. This is just a incredibly nicely structured post, just the data I was hunting just for. Kudos ....
Sometimes I just think that people write and dont really have much to say. Not so here
Great post. Thank you for putting this up. I've been in search of something like this. You make some very good details as well. Also I am aware it is a bit off topic but I really like the way your website looks is it possible to let me know the place you purchased the design or did you develop it all by yourself? And again, excellent post!
piece of writing gives view of the matter. perception, i really like finding articles that interesting and helpful in nature.
I think your blog is very goodsome very interesting opinions in your articles. I've bookmarked this site and will come back again.
Thanks Seo
Such a thoughtful blog. Keep up the fantastic blogs and you will have a believer in me :)
I think your blog is goodsome very interesting opinions in your blog. I've bookmarked this url and will come back again.
Thanks Seo
I tried to post a statement before, however it hasn’t shown up. I feel your spam filtering may be damaged?
Just readed it all and I ve to admit this is a special post! I love it !
I tried to post a comment previously, but it hasn’t shown up. I believe the spam filtering may well be damaged
Sexy blog. Danke!
Finally, an issue that I am passionate about. I have looked for information of this caliber for the last several hours. Your site is greatly appreciated.
I’m not positive I entirely agree with you on this post. Still I am always amenable to innovative concepts. Probably will have to feel about it. Great blog anyway
good post! i will said many thanks for you. its very helpfull for me, i will adiing feed your blog now
Excellent set of tools ! However, the most efficient technique to get more comments still remains combining the two principles of writing killer content and interacting with other bloggers in your niche (especially by commenting in their blogs).
I wasn't going to comment as this was written a while ago, but as I have just read it a second time, I thought I say thank you for this great article.
Great information
Appreciate the illuminating short article. I've been reading through as well as loving your blog. I will be back again!
I've been reading a few posts and really and enjoy your writing. I'm just setting up my own blog and only hope that I can write as well and give the reader so significantly insight.
Completely I share your opinion. In it
For starters , regretfull for my own lousy english language . What precisely i can express concerning your own weblog , it's superb , among the best i've observed . Advised regarding it to a friend of mine , and he was additionally excited in regards to the tips and hints and information stated. I essentially appreciate it and consider it should be saved as a favorite . Not less than this can be just what exactly i did. Cheers yet again and looking to find out additional content .
thank you for helping out, wonderful info .
Nicely written, it is not that usual to see stuff that is worth checking out nowadays :)
This web site can be a walk-by for the entire info you needed about this and didn’t know who to ask. Glimpse right here, and also you’ll definitely discover it.
Can I simply say what a aid to find someone who actually is aware of what theyre speaking about on the internet. You positively know how to carry a problem to gentle and make it important. More individuals need to read this and understand this aspect of the story. I cant imagine youre no more popular since you undoubtedly have the gift.
Hey, what's going on! I would just like to take the time out of my busy schedule at work here today to say that I just got done reading your blog post and I just wanted to comment on how much I enjoyed reading it. It is my sincere hope for you that everyone else reading you blog that either has commented on it or is just now reading it and waiting to comment on it got as much enjoyment and knowledge out of it as I did. I would like to thank you personally for writing such an informative blog and I can't wait to check back for more great blog posts. Please tell me you this won't be your only blog post!
Gracias por sus comentarios perspicaces. Espero visitar su sitio site en breve.
J'affectionne ce blog , je suis parfaitement en harmonie avec ce post , je suis aussi entichée est je n'aurais pas dit meilleure chose . Sincères remerciements pour votre labeur
Totally agree
I keep trying to put a comment but it never shows up! How come!?
Many thanks for sharing this particular nice post with a good subject, such fantastic talent that you have.
Thank you. Wonderful article. Ended up being seeking some time. Longing for more blogs and forums of your stuff in the future.
I miss scanning articles that are this informatative, its tough to come across them anymore these days with so many idiots!.
The insightful recent posts keep me coming back here several times over. Thank you very much.
You sure do know what youre talking about. Man, this blog is just great! I cant wait to read more of what youve got to say. Im really happy that I came across this when I did because I was really starting to get bored with the whole blogging scene. Youve turned me around, man!
I completely agree with your concept. I just hope others will understand as well. Visit This
Dear admin, thanks for providing this blog post. I found it great. Take care,
Striking Article! My partner and i was merely pondering that there is such a lot of amiss related information on this idea and you simply quite frankly influenced my personal feelings. Reading through a pleasurable info.
This site is really a walk-by for all the info you wanted about this and didn’t know who to ask. Glimpse here, and also you’ll positively uncover it.
Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings solace.
I feel like you could probably teach a class on how to make a great blog. This is fantastic! I have to say, what really got me was your design. You certainly know how to make your blog more than just a rant about an issue. Youve made it possible for people to connect. Good for you, because not that many people know what theyre doing.
You gave tremendous positive points there. I did a search on the topic and found most peoples will agree with your blog.
Thanks, I learned a lot for myself.
I don't always agree with everything you say, however you always get me thinking! Instead of arguing with you this time, I'll just say, "thanks for thinking"!
This really answeThis answered the question I had, thank you!
Thanks for this blurb, I strive to find as much info on the topic as I can. Hope you'll continue to write stuff on here so I can visit frequently.
Good write-up, I've saved as a favorite this web-site so ideally I'll see a lot more on this subject in the foreseeable future!
right on. superb impressed.
I wanted to many thanks for this fantastic read!! I definitely enjoying every little bit of it.I have you saved as a favorite to check out new stuff you post. With regards, Vernell.
You are a very smart person!
I understand where your coming from, and I really admire the post. For what its worth I will be back again soon, incredibly resourceful. Thanks.
I understand where your coming from, and I really love the article. For what its worth I also love the design of your website, pretty inspiring. Thank you.
My girlftriend smiled and told me about your blog, I do believe it is rather perfectly done! Good work.
Whoa those are so great. Thanks for sharing!
Wow! they are so awesome. I can't wait to watch more like this! :)
I like what you guys are up to. Such intelligent work and reporting! Carry on with the excellent works guys. I have incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it'll improve the value of my site. :)
fat burning furnace free
excellent site.
Thank you for this site. Thats all I can say. You most surely have made this blog into something special. You clearly know what you do, youve covered so many corners.help you
I think this is one of the most vital information for me. And i am glad reading your article. But wanna remark on few general things, The web site style is perfect, the articles is really excellent : D. Good job, cheers
Wow that is so great. I can't wait to see more of them. :)
This is the best post at this site so far! O_o More like this please!
Awesome! Couldn't figure this out myself, so thanks a lot for your help.
Great article. I just shared it on facebook.
Nice Blog Man!! I would love if u update it daily..
Thats a great article!
Have you ever considered about adding a little bit more than just your articles? I mean, what you say is valuable and all. However imagine if you added some great photos or video clips to give your posts more, "pop"! Your content is excellent but with images and video clips, this blog could definitely be one of the very best in its field. Amazing blog!
I had been honored to obtain a call from a friend as he located the essential guidelines shared on the site. Browsing your weblog post is really a real fantastic experience. Thanks once again for thinking of readers like me, and I hope for you the very best of achievements as being a expert discipline.
Thanks for sharing superb informations. Your website is so cool. I'm impressed by the details that you have on this web site. It reveals how nicely you understand this subject. Bookmarked this website page, will come back for more articles. You, my pal, ROCK! I found simply the information I already searched all over the place and just could not come across. What a perfect site.
I always seem to benefit from these type of threads. Most people have a different opinion which allows the read to be more diverse and sometimes controversial which can open our brains.
Hey great article man it helped me a lot !
Hi, this is a Great read. I've undersood this sort of perspective, previous to this and you are magnificent. I really like what you have articulated here, certainly like what you're stating and the way in which you say it. You make it enjoyable and you still care to keep it real. I cant wait to read more in the future from you. This is actually a wonderful web site. Keep up the beautiful work.
ideas here awesome . posted some really good info I just want
Hi my friend! Amazing tutorial! Thanks for sharing this!
Hey, I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good. I do not know who you are but certainly you are great blogging. Cheers.
Excellent points. Can't wait to study much more.
Hi I loves your lovely site thanks and please keep the ball rolling
Let me just say: wow, what a relief it is to find someone who actually know what they are talking about on the internet! More people need to read this.
I actually wanted to develop a word in order to express gratitude to you for these fantastic tips and hints you are sharing on this site. My time consuming internet research has finally been recognized with wonderful insight to talk about with my relatives. I would assume that we site visitors actually are undoubtedly blessed to dwell in a decent site with many outstanding individuals with insightful basics. I feel very privileged to have discovered the web page and look forward to so many more brilliant moments reading here. Thanks a lot once more for a lot of things.
I was looking at some of your articles on this site and I conceive this website is rattling informative ! Continue posting . Thanks So Much.
Deference to author , some excellent information . "When you cease to dream you cease to live." by Malcolm Stevenson Forbes. Thank You, for the insight.
Hey guys.. a few words about myself,.. I'm usually one of those ignorant folks that would browse through the forums, seek out
Necessary information and leave :) Due to some recent events in my life I came to a conclusion and had decided to change
this ugly aspect about myself and begin contributing as well, or may be at least saying thank you once in a while to those that continually contribute here.
Regards,
Kurt
Here is the type of information I have been in search of. Thanks for writing this information.
Wow, superb blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your site is wonderful, as well as the content!
Can I simply say what a relief to find somebody who truly is aware of what theyre speaking about on the internet. You undoubtedly know how to deliver a difficulty to mild and make it important. More folks must read this and understand this facet of the story. I cant imagine youre not more standard because you undoubtedly have the gift.
I was reading through some of your blog posts on this internet site and I believe this internet site is rattling instructive! Keep putting up.
Hello, was just browsing over the web for a little bit of information and stumbled across your web page. I'm extremely astounded by the information that you've posted on this site. It reveals exactly how properly you comprehend this subject. Book-marked this page, and definately will come back for more. You Rock!!
Nice blog, thanks for sharing :)
I am so grateful for your personal article post.Many thanks. Really Great.
Lol - so true! I hope the next blog really goes into the same depth that this one did! Keep up the good work!
I'd constantly want to be update on new blog posts on this internet site , saved to fav! .
Many thanks for making the effort to discuss this viewpoint, I feel intensive about issues and would like to learn a lot of things on this item. Probably, as you gain knowledge, would you care renewing your web-site with some more info? It’s very helpful for me.
I generally agree with your opinions. We all benefit from this good submission. This website is wonderful. I have learned loads of things from here. Thanks.
Good post. Probably my favorite blog post of 2012 so far. I shared this on facebook too!
I think this is among the most vital information for me. And i'm glad reading your article. But should remark on some general things, The web site style is great, the articles is really excellent : D. Good job, cheers
Awesome things here. I am very glad to look your article. Thank you a lot and I am looking forward to touch you. Will you please drop me a e-mail?
I was suggested this blog by my cousin. I'm not certain whether this put up is written by way of him as no one else recognize such detailed about my difficulty. You are wonderful! Thank you!
Sometimes I contemplate if folks truly take time to write something original, or are they only just dishing out words to fill a site. This surely doesn't fit that mold. Thank you for taking the time to write with awareness. Once In A While I look at a page and question whether they even proofread it.Fantastic work with this article.